So yesterday, I was singing the lyrics to "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" and I switched the last line to "And let me introduce to you, the one and only Billy Mays". So here's a lyrical re-write of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" and "With a Little Help From My Friends".
"It was about a year ago today,
Mr. Mays went on a plane
It was bouncin' for a while,
But he still kept a smile
Then his faced done turned to red,
as a suitcase hit is head
Mighty Mend-It, Grip Wrench, Awesome Auger!
It's a Mighty Mend-It, Grip Wrench, Awesome Auger
We hope you like orange glo
It's a Mighty Mend-It, Grip Wrench, Awesome Auger
Grab your Zorbeez and let's go.
Mighty Mend-It, Grip Wrench
Mighty Mend-It, Grip Wrench
Mighty Mend-It, Grip Wrench, Awesome Auger
It's wonderful to pitch here,
it's ain't no mini-grill
It's such a lovely audience,
you've got to try my hercules hook, you've got to try my hook!
I'm not really gonna stop and show,
All the times I've drank Orange Glo,
But please don't think I'm wrong,
The Grater Plater's pretty raw,
So let me introduce to you,
The one and only Billy Mays!
Mighty Mend-It, Grip Wrench Awesome Auger!!!!
BIIIIIILYYYYY MAAAAAYS!
What would you do if I stained your new suit,
would you stand up and put Shout on it for me?
Lend me your ears and I'll pitch you a solvent,
and I promise that shipping is free
ohhh I get by with my Flies Away,
ohhh I get high not from my Flies Away,
I'm gonna try, gonna try to get by with my Flies Away.
Do you need anybody?
I just need an Anthony Sul -
Could it be anybody?
I just need my Anthony Sul -
What do I do when the dirt is away?
(it scares me when the kaboom doesn't work)
How do I feel when the grime is away?
(i love when i can use my Turbo Tiger)
ohhh I get by with my Flies Away,
ohhh I get high not from my Flies Away,
I'm gonna try, gonna try to get by with my Flies Away.
Do you need anybody?
I just need an Anthony Sul -
Could it be anybody?
I just need my Anthony Sul -
Would you believe it cleans at first wipe?
Yes, I've seen it happen all the time.
What do you do if you clap out the light?
Go to sleep crying and alone...
ohhh I get by with my Flies Away,
ohhh I get high not from my Flies Away,
I'm gonna try, gonna try to get by with my Flies Away.
Do you need anybody?
I just need an Anthony Sul -
Could it be anybody?
I just need my Anthony Sul -
ohhh I get by with my Flies Away,
ohhh I get high not from my Flies Away,
I'm gonna try, gonna try to get by with my Flies Away.
Oh I get rid of those bugs, get rid of those bugs with my Flies Awaaaaaay!
This Bottle Rockets album is 51 minutes of semi-southern fried blues rock.
To be honest, I'm kind of impartial to it right now - some songs are good, some are better. None of the album is terrible, but after a while the singer's voice starts to wear on me - as does the whole "We're from Middle America and proud dammit! Help me load my Ford". And why does the beginning of "Radar Gun" sound like it could be a Foo Fighters song with some redneck singing?
Ballads of $1000 cars, women and dead trash cans.
OVERALL RATING - hey, I'm not getting paid here!
KEY TRACKS - Gravity Fails, Thousand Dollar Car, Sunday Sports
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