LOU REED - METAL MACHINE MUSIC

So Beth McDonaaroooa sends me this link of John Oliver talking about this concert Lou Reed did called "Music for Dogs" with his wife, Laurie Anderson. I also thought that tonite would be a good time to talk about "Metal Machine Music".

This album is an hour of recorded feedback looped and played at various speeds. It never lets up (other than the few seconds between each track), and it might be my second favorite Lou Reed-related recording.

The sounds that come out here are just pure, unadulterated noise. Noise that sends family flying, eardrums bleeding, speakers shaking, wife's leaving and many many more. There's no rhythm, there's no melody, there's just oscillating noise for an hour (4 tracks, all about 15-16 minutes long).

To go with the topic of the Oliver bit, here's how Cabo (my dog) reacts to this album as I sit downstairs with her:

Part I - sleeping on fireplace, halfway through gets up, goes to sleep in living room, further away from me and the computer.
Part II - Cabo jumps on my lap, and begins licking my face while stopping my hand with her paw as I try to start writing this email. Eventually gives up, goes to lie down in the dining room. Now back on fireplace. (for those who don't know, the fireplace is two-way - one side is on the kitchen where I am, the other on the living room).
Part III - Still lying there. Eventually, I stood up while contemplating to get a piece of cake and she got up, ran to me, and looked at me while trying to jump on the counter, with a face that says "make it stop, please?". Now lying near the fridge.
Part IV - After the 4 seconds of silence in-between tracks, it kicks off, sounding just like the first 3 and Cabo looks at me like "JESUS CHRIST!". After this, just lies there and doesn't move until after it's stopped.

In other words, FANTASTIC ALBUM! "IV" ends with a locked groove and sounds like the dentist, and the other 3 are layers of sound that just keep going and going. Now to listen to "4'33"" for an hour...

OVERALL RATING - FREE SLURPEES!
KEY TRACKS - THE WHOLE THING

THE FLAMING LIPS - YOSHIMI BATTLES THE PINK ROBOTS

More like "Neal Battles The Urge To Not Fall Asleep While Listening to this Album"!!!

I mean, seriously! C'mon! What's all this dippy crap with the same beat, crappy Eno wannabe production, and whispered Wayne Coyne vocals! I mean, yes, you could argue that "Yoshimi Battles pt. 2" isn't any of this - but it sucks! It sounds like some guys trying to play funk under a bunch of sound effects of bubbles. WHY? the only redeming part of this is Yoshimi from the Boredoms screaming during the track.

I remember the first time I listened to this album - it was late, I was in my dorm, and like I would be for the rest of the year, I was sans-roommate. So on nites like this, I would just let music play and not wear headphones. And I got through the first song and figured I'd go to bed. Then the second song came on and that little instrumental part at the end happened, and it felt like it went on for 3 hours. Really, its about 80 seconds, but what the hell?! I don't want to hear guitar strumming and sound effects from "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" - I want to hear Wayne Coyne ripping off the Butthole Surfers, trying to sing about Jesus, Michael Ivins to be CLEAN SHAVEN and WEARING SUNGLASSES, and well, I'd prefer it Drozd stayed off the heroin, for his own life, wife and child. BUT MAKE BETTER MUSIC!

Not to say it's all terrible - "Fight Test", "Yoshimi pt. 1" and "Do You Realize??" are all great pop songs. But most of the album sounds like easy listening Lips. And why? I don't know! That's why I'm asking YOU! Why, Oriana Dunlop, does this album bore me? Why, Joelle Wagner, is this a great album to sleep to, only to awake in a friends pool of dead animals? Why, John Gargiulo begin_of_the_skype_highlighting end_of_the_skype_highlighting, don't we watch "Family Feud" together? We could be good at it!

And honestly, the teaming up of a drum set and drum machine has been done before - just ask Pat Byrne and Roland.

OVERALL RATING - overrated rat sandwich.
KEY TRACKS - "Do You Realize??", "Yoshimi Pt. 1", the last instrumental track, mainly for the trumpet. all brass, some class, mowin' the grass.

MOS DEF - THE ECSTATIC

I'm gonna be honest - I don't listen to much rap. It's not that I don't like it, but oftentimes, I feel like the people that I might be around that listen to it, listen to it for novelty. I mean, there's only so much "Straight Outta Compton" I can hear with a bunch of punk rocker guys and not feel strange. Really, are most 11 year olds at Channahon Junior High toting copies of "36 Chambers" really LISTENING, or are they just going "HAHA! He said bitch!" or "All the songs are about KARATE or something". But there is some good stuff, and I'm glad to say that this Mos Def album is pretty great.

First off - Madlib produced 4 of the tracks! And remember how much I liked Madvillian? A lot! (Thanks again Seth Kaplan) J Dilla also did one other, but he's dead now (too many DONUTS!), along with some others I don't know - but Garret might. He can't stop listening to "The Dream"!

Really, here's what happens with the album - the first track is just, in all honesty, kick ass. The sampled guitar riff just fits the song perfectly and it's one of those where you are toe tapping or smacking puppies with a baseball bat. Then the 2nd track is this little ditty thing with a marimba thing and then it leads into the first Madlib track which is just like ARGHHHHH! AND THERE'S A VIBRA-SLAP! LIKE A VIBRA SLAP! IASDKNfafjd,fsdmfdjn jhjkgh hbhbhbh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

"Quiet Dog" is solid with all kinds of percussions, but I'm not feeling "Life in Marvelous Times". "Pistola" is a jam! "Workers Comp" samples Marvin Gaye and gets better as it goes on. Oh! "Roses" has female vocals! "History" is the J Dilla track...and "Casa Bey" is a party! So much stuff! 400 MOS DEFS! ARSON! WEDDINGS! EAR PLUGS!

OVERALL RATING - worth your time, if you have any left!
KEY TRACKS - "Casa Bey", "Pistola", "Supermagic", "Auditorium"

JOY DIVISION - SUBSTANCE

Oh Joy Division, how I truly love and hate you.

I love you because you write songs that encapsulate so many moods at once - isolation, excitement, fear, worry, joyfulness.

I hate you because some of your songs sound like Ian Curtis singing 4 octaves too low while the rest of the band plays crap that's way too atmospheric and plodding to be enjoyed by anyone other than those that are clinically depressed.

So that's why I kinda like "Substance" - it's a compilation focusing mainly on the singles and none of that boring crap that stunk up chunks of "Unknown Lesions" and "Closer (to Me, by the Cure)".

It starts off with "Warsaw", their first little single thing - Ian sounds like a snotty little Mick Jagger-type repeating "3-1-G!" (where the label would get their name from), then "Leaders of Men" - WHAT? This doesn't even sound like Ian! Where's the synths?! Who cares?! Then "Digital", where Ian hit puberty, discovered his lower voice, developed epilepsy, and did silly dances - but it's a great song! Oh, crap, I lied - there IS slow boring crap - just listen to "Autosuggestion" - 6 minutes of ;< span>>hippidy doops. Oooh! But then there's "Transmission" - DANCE DANCE DANCE TO THE RADIO!!! Too bad this song ain't on the radio, but then again, if it was, I'd crash my car doing my Ian Curtis dancing impression.

I really feel bad - there's 4 other people in the band - Peter Hook on high-register bass, drummer Stephen Morris, guitar/synth MAN Bernard Sumner, and Martin Hannett on cocaine and recordings. And they can play their instruments!

Then, "She's Lost Control" in a different recording from "Unknown Erasers", then some pop thing called "Incubation", the "classic" "Dead Souls", pre-dating U2 ambient pop song "Atmosphere" which is actually kinda nice (in the parts without vocals), then "Love Will Tear Us Apart" - which despite all of it's hype, is actually worth it. The CD version has a whopping 7 more tracks - but to be honest, I don't really listen to them - it's silly to try to put more songs like this on a close to perfect (for Joy Division, anyway) album. But they aren't terrible, and might be worth your time - Me, I'll stick to crying while listening to "Atmosphere"...

OVERALL RATING - Dave Riley's weird eyebrows.
KEY TRACKS - "Digital", "Love Will Tear Us Apart", "Transmission"

SLINT - SPIDERLAND

What exactly am I gonna say about "Spiderland" that hasn't been already said?

Well, it was released on March 27, 1991. 18 years TO THE DAY later, I'd be doing my senior recital...on that day, Albert Oppenheimer would be turning 4 (if i'm correct)...

I'm not gonna lie - I got this album kind of late. It was probably junior year of high school...and while I thought it was fantastic, it didn't blow me away at the time. This whole idea of "loud-quiet-loud" instrumental passage crap was nothing new to me. Granted, I heard the lesser imitators of Slint, but still, one hears this album and they think the Earth shakes, the ground moves, the clouds part, Ray Liotta gets dentures, whatever - and for me, it's just a solid rock album.

Granted, I could go into the songs lyrical matter, but all I know about that is what I've read in other reviews. To be honest, I really don't care that "Good Morning, Captain" is based off of "Rime of the Ancient Mariner", or "Breadcrumb Trail" is about a fortune teller in a tornado, or even that "Nosferatu Man" is about the guy who was in that movie that Tortoise scored once. For me, there's key lyrics that stand out: "wash yourself in your tears/build your church/on the strength of your fear", "we said goodbye to the ground", "I MISS YOU!!" - and those aren't even GOOD lyrics - it's all within Brian McMahan or Britt Walford (depending on the song)'s delivery.

The music itself is solid - quiet stuff, LOUD stuff, stuff with time signatures (HUGE in the world of MATH ROCK LOLLOLLOLLOLZZZZZZ), and really great sounding drums. There's even a song without drums, and then another song without words (which seems to always be building up, but never exploding in your face like a pressure cooker on Christmas), and most of the words aren't sung, they are talked or screamed. It's like living with Ray Liotta.

I've been living with Ray Liotta for weeks now. I swear, he needs new dentures.

And to be honest, there are times I don't listen to the whole album - I mean, if I'm driving, I don't want to hear the six and a half minutes of "Don, Aman" - all 390 seconds of "Don stepped outside, it felt good to be alone" in a whisper with some guitar strumming. But perhaps this isn't a driving album...then again, it's pretty great to listen to "Breadcrumb Trail" or "Good Morning, Captain" because those songs are great.

OVERALL RATING - Santiago Durango's glasses.
KEY TRACKS - "Good Morning, Captain", "Breadcrumb Trail", "Washer"

BEAT HAPPENING - JAMBOREE

Beat Happening is a band I feel strange about.
Here's why:

A) songs like "Indian Summer", "Bewitched", "Drive Car Girl" and "In Between" are pretty close to perfect pop songs.
B) songs like "Ask Me", "The This Many Boyfriends Club" and "Jamboree" sound like a bunch of cocky non-musicians that are acting like 4 year old morons yelling and clapping out of time with lyrics like "I love you like a chocolate cake....but we both know that your my dream date!" over a tambourine and drum stick clicking for 63 seconds.
C) Calvin Johnson seems like an arrogant pervert who liked having pajama parties when he was 26 years old and writing lyrics like "Lori Lori what's the story?/Why do the boys think that you're so whore-y?".
D) On that same song, it's just guitar feedback for 3 minutes, which is pretty cool.
E) Calvin Johnson also feels like Ian Curtis by singing in a voice that is uncomfortably low, out of tune, and at times, stupid sounding (which was probably the goal).
F) The sparse nature of the songs serves them well.
G) Michael Azerrad clearly has a man-crush on Calvin.
H) There are two other people in the band - Heather and Bret.
I) There are times I love this album.
J) There are times I HATE this album.
K) Right now, I'm impartial.

OVERALL RATING - AWESSSSOOOTERRIBLLLEEEYYGREAT!
KEY TRACKS - "Crashing Through", "Indian Summer", "In Between".

LOVE TRACTOR - LOVE TRACTOR

Love Tractor is a band from a mystical land called "Athens, Georgia" - where people danced in backyards, ate barbecue, and formed bands like R.E.M. and Pylon. This here, their first album is 11 songs of purely instrumental, guitar driven hoopladashery. Some songs have a keyboard and others have a sax in there, but other than that, expect drums, guitars, and a bass guitar (note: bass guitar is a different instrument than a regular guitar - please consult the wikipedia article HERE for more information).

The guitars are all chime-y and the drums are just a constant dance beat that you can bop your head to or do the Peanuts dance to like I would (see example HERE). After a while, it's easy to confuse some songs with others, but since they are all fairly good, that's not a problem. There's also some whistling. As one listens more and more, it seems like the musick begins to grow (for a picture of music growing, click HERE). Err, something. Also, Bill Berry used to drum for them before this album. And the Feelies cover "Fun to be Happy" live sometimes...

So, what's the story?

Well, when I was in high school, I had this thing called the "Documentary Channel" and it was there I first heard the Pixies (in the doc. "Gouge") and then I saw one called "Athens, GA Inside/Out" where the description said "Profiles of early 80's rock scene in Athens. Featuring R.E.M. and B-52's" or something - so I watched it! And man, was it something! There was those two bands, Pylon and this band. There were a lot more, but I can't remember them. And I remember thinking "This Love Tractor band is kinda cool". Flash forward to this past March...after having some $43 in iTunes credit, I decided to buy an album and I thought of these guys because I bought some Pylon during winter break and that was awesome and I was probably listening to "Fables of the Reconstruction" a lot and crying while trying to figure out to do with the pile of dead birds in my 2nd closet in my dorm. So I bought it and thought "Man, this is cool"...Flash forward to today...I bought some stuff from Amazon this morning, including the "Athens GA" documentary and I listened to this while driving to Lil' Cher's Pist practice with Maques Stolarts, JB Holmesskillet and Davey "Crocker Pollard" Minnice. So I thought to review it.

OVERALL RATING - better than HARRY POTTER!
KEY TRACKS - Fun to Be Happy, Seventeen Days, Buy Me a Million Dollars

SHELLAC - LIVE IN TOKYO

Here's one for ya!
(grabs fish out of dog's mouth and hits it with a rake repeatdly)

Shellac of North America (feat. Stiveersea Albino, Robert Weston (of Fleetwood Mac) and Todd "Rifle Flour Dog" Trainer) recorded this in late 1993, MONTHS before "At Action Park" was released - so here's what you got - the entire "Rude Gesture" and "Uranus" singles and some choice cuts from "At Action Park". And the band sounds ON FIRE, mainly because Todd was smoking before a show and his mullet got singed. Honestly, this is a quite fine live recording. Most reviews I've read complain about Steve's vocals being too low (mainly due to mic trouble in the first three songs) but also the drums seem to lack the kick (no pun intended, actually it TOTALLY WAS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YUPPIE SCUM!) they do in the studio recordings. Also, Steve screams a lot more. And Bob doesn't sing lead on ANY of these songs! WHY NO BOB?! "Wingwalker" is stretched out for over 8 minutes, including a breakdown that goes like this:

"it shines like a forehead.

"

forget it, i'm not transcribing 3 minutes of him yelling about airplanes, but it's worth it. There's also lot's of funny banter, but I've got things to do.

Oh, and they do "Boche's Dick", but sans vocals.

All-in-all, a fine release from "Chicago big sound leaders SHELLAC".

OVERALL RATING - jimmy johns!
KEY TRACKS - Wingwalker, Billiard Player Song, Crow

THE BOTTLE ROCKETS - THE BROOKLYN SIDE

So yesterday, I was singing the lyrics to "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" and I switched the last line to "And let me introduce to you, the one and only Billy Mays". So here's a lyrical re-write of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" and "With a Little Help From My Friends".

"It was about a year ago today,
Mr. Mays went on a plane
It was bouncin' for a while,
But he still kept a smile
Then his faced done turned to red,
as a suitcase hit is head
Mighty Mend-It, Grip Wrench, Awesome Auger!
It's a Mighty Mend-It, Grip Wrench, Awesome Auger
We hope you like orange glo
It's a Mighty Mend-It, Grip Wrench, Awesome Auger
Grab your Zorbeez and let's go.
Mighty Mend-It, Grip Wrench
Mighty Mend-It, Grip Wrench
Mighty Mend-It, Grip Wrench, Awesome Auger
It's wonderful to pitch here,
it's ain't no mini-grill
It's such a lovely audience,
you've got to try my hercules hook, you've got to try my hook!
I'm not really gonna stop and show,
All the times I've drank Orange Glo,
But please don't think I'm wrong,
The Grater Plater's pretty raw,
So let me introduce to you,
The one and only Billy Mays!
Mighty Mend-It, Grip Wrench Awesome Auger!!!!

BIIIIIILYYYYY MAAAAAYS!

What would you do if I stained your new suit,
would you stand up and put Shout on it for me?
Lend me your ears and I'll pitch you a solvent,
and I promise that shipping is free

ohhh I get by with my Flies Away,
ohhh I get high not from my Flies Away,
I'm gonna try, gonna try to get by with my Flies Away.

Do you need anybody?
I just need an Anthony Sul -
Could it be anybody?
I just need my Anthony Sul -

What do I do when the dirt is away?
(it scares me when the kaboom doesn't work)
How do I feel when the grime is away?
(i love when i can use my Turbo Tiger)

ohhh I get by with my Flies Away,
ohhh I get high not from my Flies Away,
I'm gonna try, gonna try to get by with my Flies Away.

Do you need anybody?
I just need an Anthony Sul -
Could it be anybody?
I just need my Anthony Sul -

Would you believe it cleans at first wipe?
Yes, I've seen it happen all the time.
What do you do if you clap out the light?
Go to sleep crying and alone...

ohhh I get by with my Flies Away,
ohhh I get high not from my Flies Away,
I'm gonna try, gonna try to get by with my Flies Away.

Do you need anybody?
I just need an Anthony Sul -
Could it be anybody?
I just need my Anthony Sul -

ohhh I get by with my Flies Away,
ohhh I get high not from my Flies Away,
I'm gonna try, gonna try to get by with my Flies Away.
Oh I get rid of those bugs, get rid of those bugs with my Flies Awaaaaaay!

This Bottle Rockets album is 51 minutes of semi-southern fried blues rock.

To be honest, I'm kind of impartial to it right now - some songs are good, some are better. None of the album is terrible, but after a while the singer's voice starts to wear on me - as does the whole "We're from Middle America and proud dammit! Help me load my Ford". And why does the beginning of "Radar Gun" sound like it could be a Foo Fighters song with some redneck singing?

Ballads of $1000 cars, women and dead trash cans.

OVERALL RATING - hey, I'm not getting paid here!
KEY TRACKS - Gravity Fails, Thousand Dollar Car, Sunday Sports

THE DEAD C - HARSH 70'S REALITY

What a terrible band.

Their songs are all varying lengths (from 4 minutes to 22), everything is noisy, and they have funny accents since they're from New Zealand and they were signed to Flying Nun.

Actually, this all makes them kind of awesome.

In the 73 minutes it takes to get through the 8 songs, you go through a lot of different

Ok sorry, you know what? I can't write a decent review of this album. It's great. The first song is 23 minutes long and awesome. the song "Sky" is on here (sounding quite different from that goat piss to gasoline version I've been showing people on YouTube) and it's great. I have a feeling some stuff was recorded live, but its a lot of improvised noise-stuffs and other cool happenings. the last song has acoustic guitar.

just buy the fricking thing.

OVERALL RATING - tuna fish sandwich eat's my lettuce's hamstring.
KEY TRACKS- Sky, Hope, Constellation, Suffer Bomb Damage

DEVO - Q: ARE WE NOT MEN? A: WE ARE DEVO!

For decades I was afraid to listen to Devo.

It started when I was 13 or so...you see, I was really into this new synth-punk band called the Epoxies and due to them covering an Adam & the Ants song, I went and bought an Adam & the Ants CD, and boy did it suck! For years after, I was never listened to Devo because I thought they wouldn't be as good as their reputation made them out to be. Part of me wants to go beat up my younger self right now.

This is a great album. Hands down. Even now, these recordings made in 1977 still sound fresh, vital and just fantastic. And there aren't a lot of synths here, so it doesn't sound dated. Who knew that Devo were such 6-string slingers?!

These songs on here are all ones that are going to get stuck in your head for days - for example, as I went into my promotional, I had "Jocko Homo" stuck in my head, so whenever I was listening to comments, in the back of my head I kept hearing "ARE WE NOT MEN? WE ARE DEVO!" and other funny things. "Praying Hands" was also stuck in my head too. You see, this whole album is great. And it's fun to sing along to. And drive to. And cry to. Really, what more do you need?

And yes, as I drove through Ohio on my way home from Boston, I did listen to this album. And in the middle of it, we drove through Cleveand and next to Akron. It was great. You should've been there JB...

OVERALL RATING - slinkies? hell yeah!
KEY TRACKS - Space Junk, Jocko Homo, Sloppy (I saw my baby getting), Gut Feeling/Slap Your Mammy

THE OFFSPRING - IXNAY ON THE HOMBRE

Like a few people in the world, I was born in the 1990s. In these times, radio was pretty great, and no station like Q101 could hold a 5 year old's interest. I remember having Q101 window stickers and a Rock the Vote t-shirt witht the Q101 logo. Due to this, I was all for having my tastes be ruined as DJs force fed the latest "hard-rock" there was at the time. I mean, Q101 was EDGY man! That's probably how I heard this record...maybe.

You see, I was 5 when this came out and easily impressed. I mean, this was fast music! Fast and ROCKING! but also kind of dull...but how was I to know this music wasn't very good?! I had "Smash" and all that, so I was bound to love this. Complete with all of the "bad words" in the lyrics, this was an awesome album to listen to in the car that your parents also liked.

Of course being so little, there were some things that went over my head. For example, the first song is called "Disclaimer" which was shouted by some guy with a silly voice and it used to freak me out. Years later, I learned that was Jello Biafra of Dead Kennedys! how 'bout that?! And of course, there were lyrics that went over my head. Here's a few examples:

"Everyday, well it's the same, that bong that's on the table starts to call my name"
"Me and my old lady, suck each other dry"
"Watching as my mama becomes a little dot, now I'm like DeNiro, I'm Amarillo, and I'll never know when I hit the ground"
"And all the things you'll learn when you're a kid, you'll f**k up like your parents did"
"My friend was hurtin' for a girl that he could try, he saw one that looked like Pat on Saturday Night Live"

This also might be a good time to say that vocalist Dexter Holland has is PhD in micro-biology or something, so see what you can do Stolarski?!

All in all, the music is just fast-paced and sounds like it was enjoyed by:
a) little kids who didn't know better
b) Moutain Dew guzzling X-Games junkies
c) my parents, because while they were neither A or B, they were (and still are) pretty awesome.

OVERALL RATING - hot dogs and goldfish, OH MY!
KEY TRACKS - All I Want, Amazed, Meaning of Life

GUIDED BY VOICES - UNDER THE BUSHES, UNDER THE STARS

A weird GBV album...the last two before this, hell, the last 4 before this were great!!! But here, Boberts Pollardi decided that he needed to grow up and stop recording everything on a cassette in his mom's laundry room that smelled of Country Time and Tide. Jerk. So now, there's the mess of a GBV album. You got rockers, you got some sad songs, some slow ones, and hey! Kim Deal "Produced" part of it. And Stiv "Bators" Albini recorded part of it too!

To be honest, I was let down by this and it wasn't until I heard the live counterparts on the "Jellyfish Reflector" that I realized that it was a good album, but its so long! Granted, all copies have 6 bonus tracks that add on 18 minutes, but even there, there isn't much. You have Toby's "It's Like Soul Man", but it sounded better on "Carnival Boy". And "Take to the Sky" is clearly Robbie just drunk of his bejesus trying to sing while the rest of the band plays a song that they learned after they recorded it and later forgot they put it on the album. Some nice songs though.

Like these ones:

Cut Out Witch
Official Ironman Rally Song
No Sky
Don't Stop Now
Ghosts of a Different Dream (catchy pop nostalgic crap, but it makes me smile)
What, you gotta problem with me smiling punk??? HUH?! HOW ABOUT I BREAK YOU IN HALF, COMMIE?! YOU'D LIKE THAT WOULDN'T YA?! AS I grit my teeth, I know I'll smash a mouthguard into your pretty little face and make you dance like me, like a Peanuts character.

And those are 6 good songs on this 24 track disc.

Part of it was recorded where PAVEMENT (remember when I reviewed them?? Wasn't that AWESOME?!) did "Wowee Zowee".

To be honest, this is a hard album to get through all the way. Here, the skip button is nice, but I'll listen to the whole thing. It ain't like my neck's broken. And the beginning of the first song sounds weird to me, like it cuts in halfway through the first beat and that just throws off my stance on the album throughout it...gahh!

OVERALL RATING - well worth the $5 I spent at Reckless for it, but not much more...
KEY TRACKS - don't stop now,...ironman rally..., bright paper werewolves

PAVEMENT - CROOKED RAIN, CROOKED RAIN

Let's see here...

....I got this album in the summer between sophmore and junior year. I have a feeling that I bought it at Best Buy, and I know that I bought the deluxe edition. No wait!! AH HA! I got it from AMAZON! I remember now! It was early June, I was young and in love and we were building my dad a cornhole set for Father's Day, complete with a Rush logo that we spray painted on them (made by the amazing and talented Zack Grimmet) and this showed up in the mail. I remember working in the garge with mom, drilling pieces of wood, cutting out perfect circles for the bags to fall in and drinking water. To listen to this album, I put it in the stereo in the Tahoe in the garage so we could rock out while building this cornhole set. The first thing I thought, well, wait, this could be a paragraph break.

The first thing I thought was, "WHOA! Where's that tape hiss??? What's this not lo-fi crap?! There's a freaking cowbell!". But then, about 30 seconds later, I realized "damn, this is good!". Here, Pavement stopped listening to Flipper and put on their dad's copies of "Street Survivors" and went to town. Well, not really...maybe.

You see, Pavement wrote great pop songs and here, they are still great.

God I have a headache...but I should continue.

OK.

So southern rock, indie rock, slackers, and ok, well LET'S TALK ABOUT THE TRACKS HERE!

So, seriously, sequencing? TOTAL MESS. I mean, do we need "5-4=Unity"? A "clever" tribute to Dave Brubeck? Or "Newark Wilder" that sounds like a "creepy cabaret song" or some crap? (Sorry, I'm not pulling my copy of "Perfect Sound Forever" out of box to get SM's exact quote Garret.) Well, I mean, that's about it, the tunes are great!

For some reason I always liked "Gold Soundz", it's poppy and kinda sappy and when I was a young 15 year old I thought that it was a song I'd want to play at my wedding. But since even Mark Prindle's wife is leaving him, I shouldn't be too optimistic (about either getting married or finding a wife who also enjoys "Gold Soundz" - that'd be an amusing personal add)...and "Filmore Jive" is a 6.5 min. jam that is something about rockers and their long curly locks. And some fine soloing from the Malkman. And you ain't crazy if you think "Elevate Me Later" uses the same chords as "Loretta's Scars" cuz it duzz! "Range Life" is all countryfried and Silver Jew-ish and he says "Billy Corgan suxx!" or something.

OHH! And this is the first album where both Mark Ibold and Steve West are playing here. All of them, together, crying in a room. This also has that "Cut Your Hair" song that was really popular with morons who also listened to "Exile in Guyville" and watched Daria.

OVERALL RATING - Totally worth your time Holmes Gargiulo.
KEY TRACKS - Gold Soundz, Filmore Jive, Elevate Me Later

RUSH - CARAVAN

Rush just released some single thing and I decided to review it.

Good news - it's new Rush.
Bad news - it's recorded with that same guy that did the last album.
What does this mean for you?

Well, it means that the guitars are triple tracked and loud, there are few keyboards (only atmosphere type stuff), and suprisingly, the drums are pushed BACK in the mix for most of the song. Honestly, it seems like every time there was a fill, the producer made the drums LOUD and then brought them back down. Geddy is also double tracking his vocals again. Christ. It also sounds like they are doing the same thing where Alex and Ged record snippets of songs then paste them together in ProTools and record them after they arrange it in the computer box. I mean, how do you get that chorus of "Caravan" from that verse? I kinda doesn't make sense.

So Rush, what are we gonna do with you? You brought so many good albums to us in the past 30+ years, but please, don't get stuck in this boring modern rock rut for too long. The other song "BU2B" has some promise, but please, write some songs and strip it down a bit. There's so much going on it's hard to focus - and not in the cool way like MBV or something, but like a bunch of 50/60 year old men learning computers still and saying "oh yeah! put that there! oh yeah, do that! louder louder louder!". Also, this producer guy is pretty terrible at encouraging this of them - maybe they should make an album with the guy who recorded "Fork in the Road" or the guy who does AC/DC albums. Neil is saying the new album is a "concept" thing er something...has Rush done one of those before?

OVERALL RATING - new rush!
KEY TRACK - since there's only 2, the "b-side" "BU2B" wins out.

R.E.M. - AUTOMATIC FOR THE PEOPLE

This right here...this is the album.




Well slow down! I don't mean the best R.E.M. album...

I mean, this album is the reason why after nightfall, we don't listen to R.E.M. on long car drives. Seriously. It's long, slow, dragging, and depressing. Imagine R.E.M. trying to do Swans. But only for the first song. After that, it's some pop songs. "Try not to Breathe"? "The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite"? "Everybody Hurts"? All are either really poppy sounding or just kinda silly or make you want to walk out of your car on a freeway.

Then there's some other stuff - an instrumental, another slow song, some song that sounds like kinda generic 90s rock, more 90s generic rock, a weird slow song, a song about Andy Kaufman, a slow, sweet song about swimming at night (I think they had a song like that 10 years or so before this..."Weeding at Night"? "Shrubbing at Night"? "Planting at Night"? "Disposing Old Bodies at Night"?) and some other song that some people like a lot. I like it too.


Really, this is a strange R.E.M. album - it has a certain "mood", but that "mood" isn't throughout the whole thing - honestly, it'd be better if they cut out the 2 generic rock tunes and made "Man on the Moon" 20 minutes long. And to be honest, "Everybody Hurts" annoys me sometimes - and it isn't because it was overplayed in my youth - it's because of Michael freasgking Stipe. It's due to that part 2 minutes in where they start rocking...where he says "don't hold/throw your man/hand" or whatever and his voice is just annoying. This album also needs more Mike Mills. Every R.E.M. album needs more Mike Mills.

OVERALL RATING - onion rings/straws
KEY TRACKS - Man on the Moon, Try not to Breathe, Sweetness Follows

THE CLASH - LONDON CALLING

When I was 12, I had heard of the Clash. Mainly it was due to me reading 3 books on the Ramones, and they were always mentioned. I knew the songs "London Calling" and "Should I Stay or Should I Go?", but they never sounded "punk". To me, "punk" was just...well, to be honest, I don't really remember what I thought "punk" was, except that I listened to it and everything else musically sucked. So on one fateful day, I was talking to a kid who had some Clash CDs that he got from his older brother - "Combat Rock" and "London Calling" and he said he'd burn one for me. I asked for "London Calling" because it had more songs and by that time, I'd heard a few more songs and I liked "Train in Vain". That day, I came home and excitedly put it on my SONY CFD-Z110 boombox (which I still own) and was faced with one of the biggest disappointments in my musical life.

I mean, where were the drums? It's a slow! They don't sound angry! What the hell?!

Then, I never listened to it again. Seriously.

Flash forward to today, June 20, 2010. I was having a conversation about bands that used to mean A LOT to me when I was 10-14 or so and I wondered "what happened"? Was it me or the music? I mean, those Anti-Flag albums from 1996 still sound the same - the Bouncing Souls still are producing anthems for people to cling to - Against Me!'s "Reinventing Axl Rose" still has "Walking Is Still Honest", a song that I would listen to every single day when I was a youngin' - but nowadays, these bands mean little to me other than a footnote in my musical pass (around this time, Garret Kriston posted on his blog that he was burning me CDs and described me as "some mall punk kid who likes Rush" in his Henry Cow review. Thanks Gary.) But now, I'm a little older, wiser and I have more gray hair and my hatred for "London Calling" never got better. Whenever I thought of it, I thought of some hour long album that was full of these songs I didn't like.

Tonite, I put it on and realized "Oh hey, this is pretty decent."

To be honest, I was planning to review this album and tear it a new throat hole with mah teeth. But here I am, totally wrong. I mean, it has it's flaws I bet...like the trumpets in "The Card Cheat", actually to be honest, the last few tracks all just seem kind of "OK" in comparison to the great beginning 40 min of the album, but I still like "Train in Vain". But other than that, there's all kinds of styles (rock, roll, reggae, white-guy reggae, some other crap) and it is fairly satisfying. Ohh, and I sure like "Rudy Can't Fail".

So, I'm a changed man. I can say that I enjoyed "London Calling" for the first time 3 weeks before I turned 19. Time for me to whip out my Sex Pistols CD for the Pilch guys to educate them in playing New York Dolls covers...

OVERALL RATING - Six by Seuss
KEY TRACKS - Train in Vain, Rudy Can't Fail, Lost in the Supermarket

SILKWORM - FIREWATER

So talk about a hole in one








of the LARGEST DONUTS EVER


















to COEXIST with SANTA











and CRY with Nelson Mandela







's best friends













of joy.

Man, this album is delicious!

Let's see. This band had 4 people. Then one guy left and they released this and it's AWESOME. I mean, the songs all rock, and are catchy, and its like EERAAGHHH! Sorry, that razorback came in and ate my cinnamon toast crunch.

But, let's see - you got songs about:
friends
girlfriends
drinking
unemployment
public transportation
divorce

I mean, its an album that'll be great for when you want to get down with your better self, but also help you if you are extremely depressed. How do they do that?! Well, I don't know - ask Tim Midgett, their bassist! He's got hair and a nice guitar or two. What is meant to be from Montana, living in Seattle, to later move to Chicago in the mid-90s...

And since that other guitarist guy isn't here, the sound has a lot of space - there's parts where the guitarist is just hanging out as the bassist sings and then he solos and there's no filler! Just 3 guys making a rock and roll album.

And it's a double LP and just great! I mean, no filler! Did i say that? Did I mention, NO FILLER! That's right, No Minor Threat covers here! however, "Killing My Ass" has a chorus that sounds like they ripped it from The Cure's "Just Like Heaven" and blah blah blah blahafdkhadfgvffdhrthjr hrtsh

Sorry, I got lazy and didn't want to finish that last sentence.

I mean, these songs get ingrained in your head, and even though its an hour long, it goes by so fast.

I bought a brand new copy of the LP for $10, and man, was it worth it. Oh and do these songs get stuck in your HEAD. Especially if you put the records in the sleeve for HEAD by the Jesus Lizard, which I REFUSE TO DO. I have standards, you skip ropin' commies!

Later, Silkworm would release more and more albums. then, their drummer got killed in Chicago in a car crash since some model wanted to kill herself in a car accident and this guy died because he happened to be parked at the intersection. Nice. It's a shame, they were a damn good band. The only other album I have is "Italian Platinum", so send me some!!!

OVERALL RATING - Music for 18 Musicians
KEY TRACKS - Tarnished Angel, Don't Make Plans this Friday, Drunk, Cannibal Cannibal.

SIGUR ROS - HVARF/HEIM

You see, when i was a young man of 16, this came out. I remember saying "Oh, I gotta buy that", but at the time, iTunes was updating to iTunes plus, and i REFUSED to pay for a 128kb AAC audio file of these fine young tracks with slacks. So I told my 3rd wife at the time, "Millie, pack up the bags and sell the worm farm - we gotta buy a physical copy of the Sigur Ros album!".

Flash forward 2.5 years later - I'm at the Boston Public Library and I see this there and think "You know, Millie and I never bought that Sigur Ros album before I grew my legs back" so i checked it out and put it on my computer, along with Wire's "Object 47", Silver Jews' "Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea" and 6 others.

You see, here's what this is:
2 EPs.

One is like an odds and sods (kind of like the Who's "Odds and Ends" LP) and the other is live versions.

Let's go by disc:

1. HEY!! They're speaking in that funny fake language again!!! YEAAA! Oh man, here's the other thing - sophmore year, I was obsessed with this band. So, naturally, I downloaded a ton of mp3s from their site including one called 'The Rock song" - well guess what, a STUDIO version of that is here! But honestly, it lacks in comparison to that bootleg I had. It just lacks OMPH! There's also an outtake from the album ( ) and two re-recordings from the first album that I enjoy more. The only weak track is "I Gaer", in which they play prog rock and it sounds like the most boring Pink Floyd crap ever. Seriously. I'd rather watch Bob Geldof shave Bono's eyebrows than hear this hoopplanonsense. That's actually the name of the fake sigur ros language - hooppllaannelasnonse, which goes great with turkey on wheat.

DISK 2 is the live stuff. And man, is the fidelity GREAT! But first, what the hell?? You put two songs from ( ) on here, but you give them titles! Man, if I was icelandic, partially blind, and had a faux-hawk, you bet I'd leave those track names unlisted to have the listener be suprised when they heard the sweet sounds of the one that goes "da du duh duh duaaa daud duhda daa dada duh duhda da da da" with the ebow for 5 minutes. Or the one that goes "you sat on fire, heroo, you're so hello, the fire" for 5 minutes. Oh, and hopefully you liked that re-recording of "Von", because there's a LIVE one here too! That's right, 2 versions of the same song that was released in 1997. COOL! There are two songs from ( ), one from Takk..., two from Agaetis Byrjun and one from Von.

In all seriousness, it's a great release. If you enjoy Iceland, fake languages, and uplifting music, then you'll love Silkworm, who I'm reviewing next!

OVERALL RATING - Piano Phase
KEY TRACKS - Salka, Samskeyti, Vaka

THE FALL - YOUR FUTURE OUR CLUTTER

On March 16th, 1979, Manchester’s The Fall released their first album Live at the Witch Trials. By this point, The Fall only had two singles under their belts but in between them, the entire line-up changed, save for shouter, lyricist and occasional singer Mark E. Smith. Now, over 30 years later, The Fall have released their 28th studio album. In those past years, Smith has gone through some 43+ members, numerous record labels, and yet, has still held true to his vision of what The Fall should be in the Year “___”.

Where 2008’s Imperial Wax Solvent was a great album, it took some time to grow on you. The one before, 2007’s Reformation Post-T.L.C., was one that delivered immediately, but was criticized for material that consisted of two chords repeated for 6 minutes and also for being a recording with an almost entirely new band that he only worked with for a month or so. On Your Future Our Clutter, Smith and his band (all of which were surprisingly on the already mentioned Imperial Wax Solvent), deliver from the beginning rhythm of the first track, “O.F.Y.C. Showcase”. It starts with a garbled spoken introduction and then the drums come in, and one by one, the instruments trickle in until before you know it, the whole band unleashes and wrecks havoc with 2 chords. 2 chords?? Really? Well, that was The Fall, who on their first single had a song called “Repetition” (sample lyric: “The three “R’s”, repetition, repetition, repetition”) that would essentially set them up for years and years to come.

“Bury Pts 1 & 3” starts off with the song sounding like it was being played on the floor above you while practicing in Jordan Hall – kind of muffled, and all that’s really discernable is just the beat and the bass. This then changes 2 minutes in, and then we have the song at a normal fidelity that just smokes. “Mexico Wax Solvent” feels like the vaguely electronic songs Smith has been working into Fall albums since the early 90s. The next track, “Cowboy George” is a high point – a little two chord ditty with a slightly Morricone flair to it, that at random points has a sample of a song by Daft Punk in the middle for no apparent reason. But the sound is something new for The Fall that will hopefully be exploited later.

The next two tracks everyone has heard as they were on last year’s Slippy Floor EP. “Hot Cake” is your usual stomper that might’ve only been included just to bolster the length of the album, but it’s enjoyable enough, and like you’re too cool to have an extra Fall song? Of course you aren’t. “Y.F.O.C./Slippy Floor” is a far superior to its previous incarnation. For one, the introduction goes on about another 60 seconds and the Smith line of “We’re gonna get married” now sounds chilling as opposed to childish. As the bass comes in snarling like the one junkyard dog you never wanted to aggrevate, the rest of the band falls in and the entire time, it sounds like the band could be collapsing – imagine being on a poorly built bridge on a windy day. Luckily, they kept all of the little tape snippets in the end, which people might appreciate. I do at least.

“Chino” seems to be the weirdest but possibly the most exciting track on here. It’s dark, like something you’d hear on Bend Sinister. Smith keeps asking in the lyrics “When do I quit?” The guitar menacing and vicious – it wouldn’t sound out of place if Duane Denison was playing this riff. Once again, this is something new from The Fall. “Funnel of Love” is a cover that provides a stark contrast to the song preceding it. I’d say it’s one of the better Fall covers of the past decade, not on par with “Victoria”, but it beats “I Can Hear the Grass Grow”. The last song brings us to another new side of The Fall. “Weather Report 2” starts off sounding like this decade’s “Bill is Dead” – Smith being reflective, and a little snide, but the music is almost cute until about 2.30 into it. At that point everything drops out except a synth line, some heavily manipulated rhythm and Smith repeating the same lyrics as earlier. This time, it doesn’t sound nostalgic – it sounds like a man completely bitter repeating “you gave me the best years of my life…nobody has ever called me “sir” in my entire life”. It ends with Smith barely whispering “you don’t deserve rock and roll”.

And that’s how one of The Fall’s finest and most consistent efforts of the 2000s ends. Maybe it has something to do with the band staying the same, maybe it’s because Smith is coming up with better material, maybe there’s a third reason I’m unsure of. Regardless, the music is great and his lyrical material is something that is more personal that is something that will please The Fall fan.



OVERALL RATING – Kaboom!

KEY TRACKS – “Y.F.O.C./Slippy Floor”, “Cowboy George”, “Chino”.

DINOSAUR JR - YOU'RE LIVING ALL OVER ME

This is, hands down, the FINEST Dinosaur Jr album. Some people say its "Bug", others have no taste and say that 90s crap is, but here, Dinosaur Jr reached their peak and has not yet made a better LP.

Why?!

Well, first off - VARIETYY!!>!?!

I mean, you got rockers, stompers, and lo-fi trompers all in one. Solos? CHECK! Lou Barlow's tears? CHECK! Murph with hair? CHECK!

Here's the deal, in my old and bitter age, I find less to like about music every minute. Music is ruined by friendships and memories, as well as enhanced by. Music is like a beautiful dolphin. David Minnix is a vacuum (of space), and Garret Kriston should form a Who cover band (only "It's Hard' and "Endless Wire's 154"). More importantly, here's a list of stuff I bought on Record Store Day:

Sonic Youth (whose Lee Ranaldo sings backup on track 1) - EVOL LP reissue (pink)
Sonic Youth - Confusion is Sex LP reissue (white)
R.E.M. - Chronic Town LP reissue (blue)
Deerhoof - Apple O' LP reissue (blue)
Pavement - Slanted and Enchanted LP
Silver Jews - Starlite Walker LP
The Fall - Bury! pts 2 & 4 7"
and Weezer's "Happy Record Store Day!" CD for a graduation present for my sister. But don't tell her, its a suprise!

Not to add that in a month, I'm gonna be home. Weird. Already, our first year of college has gone by, and dang, that was fast. You see, this review is a time capsule - now throw in a Delorean because when this laptop its 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious trampolines flying through the faces of young. Isn't "Blue Moon" by Big Star depressing, especially since Alex Chilton is DEAD now? Bummer. Guy didn't have health insurance...and then there's "SludgeFeast" - a jam complete with solos galore and a lyric that just soars. "The Lung" is probably my favorite Dinosaur track of all time. hands down. "In a Jar" has a little riff that would later be rewritten into "Beyond"'s "Been there all the Time". Lou even has a little Sebadoh sample in "Poledo".

I mean, there's no clunkers here. Their finest album. If you don't like it, then give up on Dinosaur because it's never better than this. If you disagree, you probably also like the current touring line-up of Thin Lizzy than the one on "Jailbreak", jerk. This is one album that I can listen to again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again v and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and never get sick of. It's that perfect.

OVERALL RATING - Mr. Pants
KEY TRACKS - The Lung, Little Fury Things, In a Jar, Poledo.

BLACK TAMBOURINE - BLACK TAMBOURINE

In my review of Black Tambourine’s Complete Recordings, I made a mention of the album soon being re-released with some bonus tracks and the whole nine yards – liner notes, unseen photos of the group, beautiful gatefold sleeve, and high-quality vinyl pressing etc. etc. However, this beautiful reissue is still not in my hands, but I have heard the bonus tracks and I know the album well enough. Besides, these are music reviews! If I wanted to spend hours talking about album artwork, I would probably just write another article, but who has time for that?


For those who aren’t on the Weekly Sunday Nite Record Reviews e-mail list (of which you can always be added, just ask), Black Tambourine was an interesting group. The members all came from some other bands (Whorl and Velocity Girl) and they drafted in a friend named Pam to sing for them. Throughout the brief two year existence they released two singles and a handful of compilation tracks until 1991 they broke up. 8 years later, the handful of tracks was compiled for the album Complete Recordings, featuring a whopping 10 songs in about 23 minutes. What is so amusing though is that even though Black Tambourine were by no means prolific songwriters or performers (throughout the 2 years they only did a couple of gigs), to this day you can hear their influence of groups such as Vivian Girls and pretty much the rest of the Slumberland Records catalog.



The music itself is hard to pin down – loud guitars and drums, vocals that sounded like they were recorded in an echo chamber and melodies that present a perfect and non-embarrassing pop influence. My friend Matt Verticchio says that it sounded like “the Vaselines recorded underwater”. While I might not agree 100% with that, I can say that it’s accurate enough.



Like the original Complete Recordings, all 10 songs from there are here, and they are still in the order they were on Complete Recordings, meaning non-chronological. This rubbed me the wrong way the first time as it’s harder to show the progression of the group. But since it was only a side project, and the sequencing is strong this way (another album like this is Switched On by Stereolab), it still works.



As for the bonus tracks, you have two demo versions (one of “For Ex-Lovers Only” and another for “Throw Aggi Off the Bridge”) and some cover songs. The demos aren’t necessary but the covers sound good enough. I mean, it’s all an added bonus to make sure that people would want to buy it, but since the material is high quality (in regards to reissue standards), and the fact that it’s been out of print for a few years now, I can say that I am eagerly awaiting the day Black Tambourine arrives in the copy center.



OVERALL RATING – Bag of hats/toaster strudel.

KEY TRACKS – For Ex-Lovers Only, Throw Aggi Off the Bridge, Pack You Up

MILEY CYRUS - THE TIME OF OUR LIVES EP

(REVIEW FOR APRIL FOOLS ISSUE OF "THE PENGUIN")

Am I allowed two word reviews? If so – sheer exhilaration!



If not, then prepare to listen. On this here EP, Miley seems to abandon those early country-rock leaning (undoubtedly influenced by Uncle Tupelo) and drops the acoustics in favor of slash and burn electric guitars. I mean, listening to the first track “Kicking & Screaming”, I was convinced that she hired Phil Manzanera (the man who played on Eno’s Taking Tiger Mountain (by Strategy) to play guitar throughout the album. Man, that would’ve been sweet!!!! But she did not. Turns out it’s some other guy, but I actually wouldn’t be surprised if Miley played guitar on the album herself. She’s quite a talented instrumentalist who spends months on end experimenting for the ultimate guitar tone for her little Wal-Mart brand FirstAct guitar.



Another unknown fact about Miley is that she actually has this power (much like Albert Oppenheimer) where she can sing in 4 different voices at the same time, making Auto-Tune non-existent on the entire album. And upon perusing Wikipedia, it appears that other people wrote these songs, but I have to disagree. I mean, what would Lukasz “Dr. Luke” Gottwald know about being a 16 year old girl trying to “Party in the U.S.A.”? He was a guitar player in the Saturday Night Live band for crying out loud! And while Hillary Lindsey has written songs for Faith Hill and Taylor Swift, I doubt she understands the heartbreak that Miley conveys in the tear-jerker “When I Look at You”. I mean, c’mon! Everyone knows that if anybody understands the true feelings of love and loss, it’s not going to be Steve Albini, it’s going to be some 16 year old girl who enjoys dancing on top of ice cream trucks.



The rest of the extended play is more of what you expect from her, but that’s not bad because it’s all SO GOOD! Both “The Time of Our Lives” and “Obsessed” are both lyrically witty, instrumentally strong and inventive and able to cut to the core of the American heart. Her lyrics are like a modern day Randy Newman, instead of writing about murderers, she’s writing about boys that she kind of likes, but not “like” likes, just, “likes”, you know? It’s with this you remember that she isn’t just some teenager that has within the same year, drawn criticism from families across the world due to her Vanity Fair photo shoot, candid photos taken in Japan, and the fact that she made this EP exclusive to only Wal-Mart. But me, I’ll stick with Miley thick and thin. It’s not even a guilty pleasure – as long as Albert Oppenheimer and I can dance and sing to these songs days on end, I’ll still reach for my old Hannah Montana 45s and relive all the days that I was a 11 year old girl.



OVERALL RATING – Rainbows and dirtbikes.

KEY TRACKS - Party in the U.S.A., Talk is Cheap, Before the Storm (with the Jonas Brothers)

THE BEARCUBES - BLUE EGG BLUES

(no artwork)

Usually I hate music. I don’t like it. I hate writing it, I hate listening to it, I hate thinking about it. Wanting to have a career that revolves around it seems useless and I can’t help but think that musicians are the worst people in the world all the time. But sometimes you find some group that is just so pleasant, it reminds me that “Oh hey, I go to music school, and music is some pretty great stuff.”



The group from what I can tell is a bunch of folks from Oberlin playing some enjoyable ditties using strings, banjos, oboes, and a woman singer who sounds like a wonderful person and can sing quite well. Maybe it’s just because I’m in my Songs: Ohia “anything with acoustic guitars or banjo or mandolin sounds AWESOME” mood or maybe it’s because it’s such a short release (4 songs, 13 minutes), but it sounds great. It doesn’t appear to be some group that’s just chilling and saying “Oh yeah, you know what would be GREAT (wink wink, not really) – A BANJO!”. This group sounds genuine and the musicians clearly have the chops to be pulling this off. I was listening to this while enjoying the nice weather and machine-made breeze of my fan yesterday and yeah, it made me smile.



Albie says that he saw them perform without the strings, but TWO OBOES!! Hear that?! TWO OBOES, LAUREN! AT THE SAME TIME!!!



OVERALL RATING – Catch of the day!

KEY TRACKS – “Blue Egg Blues”, “Houseboat”.

FLIPPER - GONE FISHIN'

Every jack-hole calls this “Flipper’s “artsy” album”. I’m not going to. This is Flipper’s super macho football player album that beats up artsy kids and shoves them into dumpsters, covering them with old socks, cockroaches, and squirrels who’ve recently ingested glow sticks. Remember “Generic Flipper” and the drunken mess it was? We used to dance to it, Albert Oppenheimer and I, hand-in-hand, crying about the future while singing “SEX BOMB BABY! YEAH!” and “LIFE! LIFE! LIFE IS THE ONLY THING WORTH LIVING FOR!”. Actually, Albie and I never did that. I was usually just me. I showed the Pilch folks Flipper a few times…not sure if they enjoyed it. Garret, let’s listen to Flipper together. Then Thin Lizzy. CAN YOU SMELL “MALE BONDING”?


Where was I? Oh yeah…

Some highlights still to come this year are An Evening at the Bouffes-Parisien, April 21 and 22, which features three Offenbach one-act operettas that poke delicious fun at Classical, French and Italian opera. And on April 7, the NEC Philharmonica, conductor Hugh Wolff and cellist Narek Haknazaryan take over Symphony Hall for a brilliant concert with works by Barber, Schumann, and Shostakovich. There’s also the track “First the Heart”, which like “Sex Bomb” has a dual sax solo, but this one is surprisingly tuneful and really awesome. “Talk’s Cheap” wouldn’t sound out of place on “Generic Flipper”, and “Sacrifice” was covered by the Melvins. Really, the whole album is great. And it sounds like it was recorded in a swamp.



Flipper were quite tune-smiths. When listening to them, I tap my feet and smash bricks and eat rocks, all the while thinking “Man, when I get out of this quarry, I’m gonna listen to some FLIPPER”. They were also drug addicts, and they all died when they released this album. Well, not all of them, but one did at one point…WHEEEEE!



OVERALL RATING – lots of buttons. And waffles!

KEY TRACKS – “First the Heart”, “One by One”, “The Light, The Sound, The Rhythm, The Noise”.

PAVEMENT - BRIGHTEN THE CORNERS

Life takes you funny places. You see, when you should be practicing for a keyboard exam, you start playing the same two chords over and over again. You start to think, “Hmm, this sounds familiar…” and you clunk them for another 2-3 minutes. It starts coming back…you remember listening to this when driving, when picking up your sister from school, right in the middle of winter break your senior year of high school, but god, WHAT IS IT?! Well, it turns out to be the song “Blue Hawaiian” by Pavement. Off of “Brighten the Corners”. But, I haven’t listened to this album in MONTHS! I mean, it’s good and all, but it’s not “Slanted & Enchanted” or even “Terror Twilight” for that matter. It’s the bastard stepson of Pavement’s discography. The critics will say that “Wowee Zowee” is, but it isn’t. “Wowee Zowee” is an LP that goes and explores all kinds of Pavement – the punky (“Serpentine Pad”), the transcendently beautiful (“Grounded”), the epic jams (“Half a Canyon”) – it’s an album that distills everything you’ve loved about Pavement into little under an hour. “Brighten the Corners” serves its spot as Pavement’s own “Bossanova” or “Down” – a great album, but when compared to others by the group, it lacks.



First off, what’s this?! A song with a lyric about Geddy Lee? Sign me up! Yeah, the sound’s a little slicker, but listen to that semi-ironic chorus that’s made for blasting out of speakers in the summertime. A lyrical romp too – the chorus contains the line “my baby baby baby babe gave me malaria hysteria”. You think all is well with Pavement…and then….the slick sound stays. And it’s all mid-tempo. And where’s the distortion pedal?? Where’s Bob’s yelling?!! Is Scott still in the band? Why does everything sound so frickin’ relaxed?!



And here’s the problem – Pavement accidentally became another one of those slacker bands of the 90s…they didn’t practice, the recordings were covered in a glorious layer of fuzz, their first drummer was a drug-addled hippy , and yet, they still wrote some of the best music around from 1989-1992. But now it’s 1997 and what do we get? Middle-aged Pavement. (Johnboy – this is the equivalent of “Wilco (The Album)”, but not as terrible.)



Now this isn’t a bad album…but when you compare it to anything else in the Pavement discography, it doesn’t shimmer like a burning man drowning in Lake Michigan – it glistens with an ant’s eye on a slip and slide. Scott’s songs are good this time…



I’m sorry for that review. It was terrible.



OVERALL RATING – nachos with jalapenos – good, just stuff you gotta pick off.

KEY TRACKS – “Date W/ Ikea”, “Starlings of the Slipstream”, “Embassy Row”

KURT VILE - CHILDISH PRODIGY

You know how this goes:

you're being all cool and stuff and trying to listen to the new Times New Viking album before it comes out because you have a review for the Penguin due the next day, but your copy still hasn't shown up in the mail. What the hell? you wonder...so you go on Lala.com and start listening to the tracks to right this review. Before you know it, you can only hear each song once and you're left with only 30 second samples. So while basing an album review on 30 second samples of songs you kinda know, you start getting distracted. Then you see on Lala "If you like blah blah blah" and etc. and you just start clicking through albums. You find an album by this guy with long hair, but for some reason, you hate him. You don't even have to hear his music. You just seem him, some young kid with long hair, and think "You, my friend, SUCK." But, you listen to the songs and enjoy them. You feel kinda guilty, but life happens, you're roommate moves out, you buy a record player, and time goes on.

FLASH FORWARD to 2010!!! ------------->>>>>>>>>

You're just hanging out, relaxing on spring break. You do some bopping around on the intranets and remember good friend Gary (Young) Kriston's http://solidlittlerockjams.blogspot.com and you pilfer through the reviews. You find one about this Kurt Vile guy and you decide "Well, other than "Raditude" and Incubus, Gary's usually spot on with music" and you start looking around for albums. The first one you find is this guy's most recent, and that was the one I listened to back in October.

And how did I feel?

Conflicted.

Full of swimmer's ear.

Spitting soup into snail shells.

Buying a car.

Wearing peanuts.

Watching both Twilight films.

And that was my spring break, BUT NOW BACK TO THE REVIEWWWWSSSS!!!!

But here I am, enjoying this album by this guy that I hate. Man does he write some sweet jams. Kind of an even split between full band hooplah and bedroom acoustic pop thats just fantastic. The band stuff is cool, but the bedroom stuff always has a distinct feel that he pulls of well.

The main reason why I'm all crazy about this is because of tracks 7-8, "Heart Attack" and "Amplifier". "Heart Attack" is just a bedroom guitar ditty that segues into "Amplifier" which starts quite similar, but then the whole band falls in and, oh boy, there's a trumpet that blows in and then you just fall over and say "damn". there's a song after, and then it ends.

thats the album.

and its good.

I'd say check it out. It's got the NM "Thumbs up and away" stamp of approval.

OVERALL RATING - FLYING CACTUS!
KEY TRACKS - "Amplifier", "Heart Attack", "Freak Train".

REMA-REMA - WHEEL IN THE ROSES

So this band existed for all of one year. Their lone release has a whopping 4 songs. One of their songs was covered by Big Black a whole bunch. It's that one that goes "REMA-REMA! REMA-REMA! REMA-REMA! HAHAHAHA!!!" for 4 minutes. And is that a darn catchy song. The other 3 songs include the 7 minute opener "Feedback Song", and 2 live tracks, "Instrumental" and "Fond Affections".

So half of this is studio and the other half live? Christ.

But its noisy!! And awfully British sounding. That makes it kinda silly. Silly Brits.

And the song "Rema-Rema" has a whole bunch of silly sound effects during it that sound like leftovers from a Kraftwerk album. And "Instrumental" actually has some lyrics! But I can't understand them.

Basically, this was a glorious mess of mid-tempo noisy grade school ballads for ice fishers everywhere. And boy oh boy, do I wish I was an ice fisher.

OVERALL RATING - squiddidly bop!
KEY TRACKS - "rema-rema", "instrumental"

JAPANDROIDS - ALL LIES

(no decent artwork found)

What makes a good band?

Is it looks?
Charm?
Energy?
Ethnicity?
Gender?
Clean teeth?
Druggy?
Weezer?
Puppies?
Bible stories?
Food?
Coffee?
Jeeps?
Two singers?
No singers?

I don't know.

This EP has got 5 McNuggets. 3 of which have suite and sour sauce. 1 has ranch, and the other two have got ketchup and ranch. what is the probability that 1 of the McNuggets will have some sort of sauce, and not just a condiment?

This EP has 2 canadian milkshakes that yell alot. And play the drums an guitar real loud like. Triple thick milkshakes (Due to the beards). you see, a lot of people don't understand the ins and outs of quantum physics. I'm one of them. I'm no Doc Brown, or Justin Long for that matter, so don't you question me about slinkies. Don't you ever! Watch your pretty mouth boy, or else I'ma throw a dragon in there. Watch that dragon fly into your little slinky on the staircase as I throw soup on the people in the soup kitchen. They wince, and then bathe. They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.They wince, and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe.and then bathe in apple pie a la mode. It's all so simple, just like sewing a sweater for a sweet sweaty youngster. The goggles are for swimming, the googles are for surfing. swim and yahoo to your netzero. ouch! my mail is hot! i just burnt my hand and need some help at the speed of sound. Where's the germans? Where's the russians? Where's the nice man at the airport yesterday? I took of my shoes and my socks were clean. One woman didn't have socks. She was japanese.

OVERALL RATING - uptempo hooplahs that are cool, i might check out more later, but that time i saw them live sucked.
KEY TRACKS - press corps, avant sleepwalk.

PYLON - GYRATE

Pylon is just a fantastic beast of a band. But there's a lot to hate about them.

Like if you hate female singers that just kinda yell.
Or bands that you can dance to, while their lyrics defy you to dance to them.
Songs whose lyrics are just a list of nouns.
Songs that go for close to six minutes just so you can dance more.
Or if you hate any good band that's come out of Athens, GA (R.E.M., B-52s, Love Tractor)

But I hate none of those things, hence I freaking love Pylon.

By the way, skip to 1.02 in this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVzvn3iB1qs&feature=fvw

doesn't mike mills look JUST LIKE matt verticchio, except all sweaty?'

ok, back to PYLON. Imagine the B-52s are like smores - a little crispy, gooey, makes you feel warm inside etc. PYLON are smores with barbed wire and when you bite it, it bites you back.

But man, I could just keep listening to this album! I mean, songs that are great for dancing, yet while being smart, like the Multiplication Rap tape I had when I was 7 (sorry, no sample lyrics...) and it just makes you want to get down, because everything is "Cool" according to the bonus track, "Cool", the A-side of their first single.

Sorry, this review just turned to crap. I wasted time watching R.E.M. videos on youtube and I no longer have a train of thought to finish this.

It's really good. You should buy it. The "Gyrate Plus" addition has the first single, a remix of "Danger" and a jam from a practice tape. If you like dancing, bass heavy-ness, and super-trebly guitars, you'll love this. I will say the drummer is great. He's very subtle, but he does this thing with the toms and snare and bass drum he'll do these hits with bass and snare at the same time (instead of bass and cymbal or something) that just get me every time.

The album ends with a great lyric:
"Don't rock and roll".
Brilliant.

OVERALL RATING - DIRTBIKES!!
KEY TRACKS - Feast on my Heart, Driving School, Stop It.

THE BEATLES - SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND

People seem to love this album. It's crazy actually. Those dorks at Rolling Stone call it the best thing ever, and I'm convinced that whenever Greg Kot hears it, he craps his pants while holding back Jeff Tweedy's hair as he pukes - like any husband would do for his wife.
And what you got here is a wide variety of styles.
Like the idea of the CONCEPT ALBUM! which the Beatles invented. Just like the invented rock and roll, lemons, and Jesus, who they were subsequently bigger than. Pshhh, my Jesus was a TALL man. Not some teeny-tiny frisbee golf grave digger. So take that RINGO!

Sorry, I meant TAKE THAT BONO! (By Bono, I mean Sonny Bono, by who I mean James Bond, who becomes this lovely man known as Chef Boyardee. Spaghettios are better.)

But the concept last all of two songs...and how bout that?! There's that song that Ringo sings that Joe Cocker did (one of my friends said "Christ, this song sucks" and didn't believe me when I said that the Cocker version was a cover). And the first song with a french horn/brass solo that is so bad, people are laughing during it!
The album turns into a living lava lamp as we get translated to the world of John Lennon's son's drawings complete with lyrics like "rocking horse people eating marshmallow pies" and "getting really fricking high, and like, dude, let's go to McDonald's man, I want some fries". "Getting Better" talks about a guy who beats his wife and has anger problems. Who said Big Black was misogynistic? Cleary, Sir Paul has no problem beating up grocery cart. "Fixing a Hole" is a little dippy dippy do pop song, and "She's Leaving Home" is freaking beautiful.

"Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite" is a cute little ditty about building fires. "Within You Without You" is 5 minutes of George Harrison groping a tabla and mumbling some crap about talking about the space between us. Yeah George, its called "AIR!". Stupid english blokes. "When I'm 64" surprised me the most. I always knew the lyrics could be heartbreaking if read correctly, but then I heard the song and its this thing with bassoons and crap! I mean, its cute, but not heartbreaking! I mean, when can I cry listening to the Beatles?! I guess the closest I get is with "Ram". "Lovely Rita" is some trippy rock tune thats really nice and fun to sing to. "Good Morning Good Morning" is lots of fun on the Rock Band where you can make the dog barking noises and get bonus points! Then there's the Sgt. Pepper reprise that's just a 1.20 ditty thats even harder rocking than a jackhammer to the face of a cinnabon employee.

The album ends with some long song and yeah.

OVERALL RATING - Definite plus here. Really good album. Solid stuff.
KEY TRACKS - a day in the life, she's leaving home, getting better.

FRED SCHEINDER - JUST FRED

In 1996, a legend of a man released a solo album that not too many folks were expecting that was sadly forgotten all too quickly. But, we aren’t here to talk about “Allies” by Fred Frith! We’re here to talk about Fred Schneider’s “Just Fred”.



The title itself is misleading. It really isn’t “just Fred” as you would think. It’s actually Fred with 3 different backing bands – one of which was the fabulous group Six Finger Satellite, another was Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet (known for the theme song to “Kids in the Hall”), and another called Deadly Cupcake, who features a Rick Sims on the guitar. Of course, we all know Rick Sims as being the guitarist for the Didjits as well! It probably comes as no surprise that it was also recorded by Steve Albini. Wait, what?! It was recorded by Steve Albini?! You mean to tell me that Fred “Rock Lobster” Schneider recorded an album with Steve “I have a headache like a pillow!” Albini?! Whoa! That’s reason enough to spend $4 on Amazon and buy a copy of this.



But what does it actually sound like?



Well, it’s interesting because you would think that this whole combination of goodness would actually be like a peanut butter waffle scone - 3 fantastic things that just don’t belong together ever. But it works! I can’t really explain why, but it does. Interestingly enough, Fred didn’t write any of the music. There are a few folks who put it all together, but Fred did write all of the lyrics, minus one song. That one song is “Coconut” by Harry Nilsson (that’s that “you put the lime in the coconut and you drink it all up” song for those of you without the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack). As you can tell, this album just seems to get more and more random. But I don’t know if it’s the songwriting, the playing, Albini’s “production”, or just the fact that Fred Schneider actually made this, but it’s genuinely enjoyable. The closest comparison I can make is to imagine Fred fronting any 90s-era Touch & Go band on some of the tracks. You got all the elements – rumbling bass, slashing and treble heavy guitars, and consistently pummeling drums, plus that guy from the B-52s yelling “YOU’LL KISS THE WHIP!” or “BULLDOZER ON THE MIRACLE MILE!”. On the others, it’s more a just straight rock sound, with some poppy chords thrown in to give it that stadium anthem sound. And did I mention that it was recorded in only two weeks?! Crazy stuff here…



And we have to talk about Fred’s vocal performance. Maybe it’s the result of him being with this young group of whippersnappers, but Fred sound energized as all get up on these tracks. In an interesting choice, Albini actually has the vocals being very clear in the mix, which makes sense. However, if you’ve heard anything else he’s recorded, you know he likes to bury those vocals six feet into the ground and then flood the hole with yard trimmings and lighter fluid. But since it is a Fred Schneider solo album, and because Fred just yells all the time anyways, the vocals sound great and his lyrics are the usual witty workings you could find on any B-52s recording.



So if you have $5 to spend, don’t spend it on dinner. Buy this instead! Sure, it might not be the best album you’ve ever heard, but with it being Fred, you know it’s going to be a party, and he makes it clear that you are most definitely invited.



OVERALL RATING – S’mores – meaning that lots of good things in a little package that’s sweet enough to be enjoyed by most, and if you don’t like it, well, it’s only 36 minutes long.

KEY TRACKS – “Whip”, “Radioactive Lady Eyeball”, “Bulldozer”.

STEREOLAB - EMPEROR TOMATO KETCHUP

So this album sucks.







Just kidding!

It's OK. Nowhere near my favorite - and here's why!:
I hate the french
I hate socialists
I hate keyboards
I hate drum machines
English people like bad indian food
Sushi is gross
Stereolab are the reasons for war in the world
They cancelled Seinfeld
They butchered a hog
They stole my rollercoaster
They really know how to mess up to the max
Rock over london, rock on chicago -
Chili's - I want my baby back ribs.

Just kidding!

No, this is a fine album. Most folks think it's their best. Not I. I say this because while most the songs are great, there's some stuff that's just questionable. Like that song "Spark Plug". Like, some weird funky thing after 4 fantastic songs. It sounds really out of place here, like bad groovin' something er other. Not too pleasing at all. Also, "The Noise of Carpet" sounds like a rocking tune, but its too "generic-ly" rocking for my likes. I mean, its STEREOLAB! C'mon, yall aren't generic at all! That's Public Image Ltd's job.

It also feels like after such a strong first half, the seconds lags at times, but when it picks up, it picks up!
"Slow Fast Hazel" just does that, and it ends and its all beautiful and stuff. But some of the second half stuff, while good, also gets to be quite samey, and because of that, songs blend together and you sometimes feel like you've heard this song already. But what can you do?

NOT LISTEN TO IT!

No, but this is an enjoyable album and all that, just make sure that you take off your shoes.

OVERALL RATING - Hand sanitzin' goodness yo!
KEY TRACKS - Slow Fast Hazel, Les Yper-Sound, Motoroller Scalatron

PAUL MCCARTNEY - RAM

So according to Johnyboy, I've never reviewed ANY Paul McCartney or Beatles releases! Whoaawwwooow! How bout that?

So let's pick this - a critically acclaimed album by Sir Paul and Lady Linda.

Well, uhm, its good. And rockin'. And not terrible at all.

Boy, if there's something you can learn here, its how kooky Paul was. I mean, listen to these songs - "Uncle Albert"? "Monkberry Moon Delight"? "Smile Away" (with the lyric "I could smell your breath from a mile away)?

But no matter how kooky, its still wonderful and freaking perfect. The production sounds great and not dated at all, and man, dude, person, dog, this album is full of singalongs too! Paul creates a hell of a chorus I tell ya. Just ask John as we'd drive along this summer singing along to "Monkberry" or "Uncle Albert"...even "Too Many People"s vocals are infectious enough to warrant a fun time.

Paul goes through a variety of styles here, but he pulls them off wonderfully.

And the ending track, "Back Seat of My Car" is just fantastic with its soaring chrous and then it ends.

OVERALL RATING - 10 fricking stars
KEY TRACKS - back seat, monkberry,uncle albert, dear boy

BLACK TAMBOURINE - COMPLETE RECORDINGS

And right underneath "Black Keys" in my iTunes is Black Tambourine.

D.C. area band that was on Slumberland, you know,that label that has the Pains of Being Pure at Heart. Imagine if you wanted to listen to an album like Pains that wasn't terrible - you'd have this. Fuzzy guitars, female vocals recorded in an echo chamber with beautifully obscured lyrics, some loud drums, and happy pop melodies. Actually, I take back that Pains reference, this group shouldn't be lowered to Pains of Being Pure my art standards. Hmmm, maybe early MBV meets Vivian Girls? I don't know, it's just good.

And it says complete recordings, which it turns out is only 10 songs. And its over in 25 minutes. They released a single, an ep, some tracks for comps, and one unreleased jam. Pitchford says its being re-released soon, so let's find out how some more bonus tracks sound in the coming month er something.

jeez, that was a terrible sentence. Oh well, you keep on keepin' on, like takin' a fortune cookie that says "you will die in a firey explosion" and makin' sure you live up to that...

anyways, this is a good album here and I can't recommend it enough. Hell, I can send it to ya if you want...

OH!
FYI:FYE
The songs are not in chronological order, so it starts off with the fantastic song "For Ex-Lovers Only", but then goes into songs from another EP, kinda like Stereolab's "Switched On" (which I still need to review). yeah! but also like "Switched On", this tracklist works just fine. Just thought YOU should know.

OVERALL RATING - toaster strudel
KEY TRACKS - for ex-lovers only, throw aggi off the bridge, pack you up

THE BLACK KEYS - THICKFREAKNESS

So what we got here is 2 persons playin' the instruments and singing the songs. Actually, one sings the songs, but what's it matter to ya? jerk.

Boy, that first track starts off with some cool noise! Then just kinda into a fuzzy-blues rockin' ditty here. Listen to that guys voice! You almost wouldn't believe he's from Ohio!
The second track has got a cool noisy solo, almost kinda sounds like a solo from that Monks record...
But as the album progresses, it starts to become relatively similar, and while enjoyable, the songs kinda start to sound the same. Maybe its because I've only listened to it 4 times or so, but it seems that there's only so much you can do with fuzzy guitar driven stompers for so long.

Also, I think that the tracks that are a bit slower (Cry Alone, Everywhere I Go) aren't as good, mainly because they seem to lack energy, and so you get songs that just drag and drag for toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long.

BUT! If you like guitar and drums and vocals, you might like this!
It's not that I don't like it, its just sorta "there" and isn't the most exciting thing I've heard since my time playing billiards and a pool hall when I was 13 in Oak Park.

OVERALL RATING - Cinnabon
KEY TRACKS - Hard Row, Have Love Will Travel, No Trust

BLACK TAMBOURINE - COMPLETE RECORDINGS

THE FALL - BEND SINISTER

(along with two others, this album was picked at random and reviewed within 10 minutes)

HEY! here's actually one I've listened to before and actually LIKE! crap, might not be able to do it in 10 minutes. let's try anyways! I have this album artwork as a t-shirt.

SPOOOKY! pounding drums, scary sounding guitar chords, a scary bassline, and some keyboards that sound like vincent price yanked them out of his solar plexus. but, then a super catchy danceable chorus! i'm totally groovin' to this right now. dear god, its 1.20 and i have rehearsal in 8 hours, i've gotta finish up soon.

"Dktr. Faustus" sparse, Brix doing some "yeah-ea-eahhh" vocals, Mark through a megaphone, kinda like "Barmy", it keeps building to the end, where it becomes a mess of cool noises and Brix and Mark yelling "faust banana!!" and stuff. god I love this band.

"shoulder pads 1#" is some cool short ditty dancey thing that is totally poppy, but the production makes it seem really creepy, but its great!

"mr. pharmacist" is the famous track here. it's a cover of a song by some group called "The other half" and its a garage cracker stomper that speads up and has an actual guitar solo! weird! "Gross chapel - british grenadiers" is a moody bass driven creeper. see, its right behind you!!! aaaaa nooooo! but, it goes on for over 7 MINUTES. repition is this bands FORTE, and I live in a FORT. "Living to late" is a b-side to single, but the US CD throws it into the middle of the album. BUT, i fricking love this song.
"U.S. 80-90s" has a riff that sounds like "batman" meets "here comes santa claus", and some drum machine rhythms, but still cool. ohh and space invader sounds!
"Terry Waite Sez" is yet another 2 minute dancer. "Bournemouth Runner" is also kinda dancey, and 6 minutes long, so you can dance for a long time. Like 6 minutes! I ate 6 donuts. Hey John, how bout milkshakes??!

why can't ghost go to the movies?

because the dead have no interest in modern film.

"Riddler!" is another slow one, but still enjoyable. god i love this band.

"Shoulder Pads 2#" is a lot like "1#", except its shorter.

"auto tech pilot" is from a single as well, but the bass line and the guitar noises sound like something that the thinking fellers totally stole. Don't believe me? well, let's watch "Flubber". This song has a few parts, but its fine.

for when you want Joy Division but without all the crappy songs.

OVERALL - dark, slow and dancey. like a twix inside a Ian Curtis!!
KEY TRACKS - living too late, dktr. faustus, bournemouth runner