Weezer - Raditude

(since this was in an actual publication folks read, i determined i needed to be slightly serious. my penguin text is in black, but silly things that i would put it that are of no interest to anyone are in red. i also accidentally stole a mark prindle joke. it was late when i wrote the review. sorry mark.)

DOGGY!!! A JUMPING DOG!!! MY DOG JUMPS TOO!!! HER DAD WAS A CHAMPION JUMPER MY PARENTS SAY.!!

If there was a band that in the last 15 years had a more confusing and inconsistent history than Weezer, I have yet to hear them. In 1994, they gave us “Weezer” (the Blue album), an album produced by Ric Ocasek that was chock full of quirky radio ready singles like “Buddy Holly” and “Undone (The Sweater Song)”. The kids loved it and it has since gone triple platinum. The next album was the fan-loved, critic-hated “Pinkerton”. While most fans enjoyed it (a lot consider it to be their best), the critics tore it up and it sold poorly. BUT WHY? BECAUSE THE CRITICS DON'T LIKE SONGS ABOUT BEING ALONE ALL THE TIME AND CRYING BECAUSE YOUR MADE-UP 12 YEAR OLD JAPANESE GIRLFRIEND WON'T RETURN YOUR LETTERS. Then there were 5 years where there were no Weezer albums. This changed in 2001, where they released a string of 3 mediocre to terrible albums (“Weezer” (2001), “Maladroit” (2002) and “Make Believe” (2005)). NOT AN UNDERSTATEMENT AT ALL. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY GARRET, THERE'S VERY LITTLE TO ENJOY HERE. AND I GOT MALADROIT THE DAY IT CAME OUT - THE SAME DAY RUSH RELEASED "VAPOR TRAILS". In the meantime, Rivers Cuomo was releasing his “Alone” albums chock full of demos and outtakes that the fans had never seen. A lot of these revealed a different side to the Weezer front man, and that side was one that was more loose, more fun, more willing to take risks.THAT LAST SENTENCE WAS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE! WHAT WAS I THINKING? ROCK WRITER CLICHE #217! I NEED TO STOP READING THAT GUIDED BY VOICES BOOK FILLED WITH CLICHES. 2008’s “Weezer” (this one was the Red album), was full of humor, overblown song arrangements, and at times, it came off as a parody of itself, down to the cover art. Some people hated this – a few people I know thought of it as Weezer being ironic and found nothing worth any substance on the album. Others (myself included), thought it was fantastic. THAT WAS THE FALL 2008 ALBUM. SOME FOLKS, LIKE MAX G. AND LAUREN WILLIAMS WILL REMEMBER. THANKS SETH FOR BURNING IT FOR ME. SORRY I DOUBTED YOU.
When I heard Weezer was already releasing a new album, I was worried. It had only been a year since the last one and the news coming out was making me skeptical. Rivers had decided to get a whole mess of other people to help him write the songs, including people from quite terrible pop bands that don’t even warrant any kind of mention. The title was something that was suggested by actor Rainn Wilson. The artwork is a dog jumping in a living room. There were also the funny, yet unsettling commercials for the new “Weezer Snuggie”. All of this spelled disaster to me. WEEZER SNUGGIE = AWESOME XMAS GIFT.
…….But how does it sound?
Production-wise, solid. I can’t keep track of all the producers as multiple ones were used throughout the album. But just know that if you need a fix of well recorded amplified guitars and drums, this can do. However, if you dislike when cheesy sounding guitar licks are duplicated by awful sounding synthesizers (like myself), a few songs will be ruined. SO IF YOU LIKE GARAGE-FI LO-BROW ROCKER STOMPERS, GO BURN DOWN THEIR RECORDING STUDIO.
Song wise? Well, that depends on what you want. If you want pure power pop rock whatever with some lyrics that sound like they were written by a 12 year old boy who’s fallen in love for the first time, you’re in luck. If you want sprawling 6 minute epics, I’d stick to the Red album, or “Red” by King Crimson for that matter. Not to say that it’s without any kind of charm; lead single “(If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To” has a bouncy feel with lyrics that include “That summer was the best we ever had/we watched “Titanic” and it didn’t make us sad” that is a fairly good opener. “Trippin’ Down the Freeway” has some Beach Boys-type harmonies thrown in there. “I Don’t Want To Let You Go” seems like a cross between “The Angel & the One” of the Red album and “All I Want is You” by U2. The missteps however really derail the album. For example, “Can’t Stop Partying” includes a rap by Lil Wayne that really doesn’t have any effect on me. No ironic hilarity or anything like that, just kind of boring. “Love is the Answer” has a distinct India feel, but it doesn’t suit Weezer too well here. After that are two semi-80s metal songs in a row! Talk about poor sequencing, where the 2nd side of the album is one failed experiment then 2 clunkers. If it wasn’t for the last song, I’d be tempted to just chop my CD in half and have a fine sounding EP. But that’s not a possibility so I have a CD with a handful of enjoyable songs that suffers from way too much outside assistance. THERE'S THE PRINDLE JOKE! SORRY MR. PRINDLE.

OVERALL RATING – Like a sandwich from a truck stop – the idea of eating it seems hilarious enough, so you do to impress your friends. Halfway through, you realize it was a bad idea, but since you’ve had better sandwiches from truck stops, you aren’t willing to give up on it completely. I'VE USED THAT BEFORE I THINK.
KEY TRACKS – “I’m Your Daddy”, “I Want You To”, “Put Me Back Together”, “I Don’t Want to Let You Go”.